


Why Count the Stars?

by kakera



Series: Why Count the Stars [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Demons, Forbidden Love, M/M, Shinigami, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 03:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3712906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakera/pseuds/kakera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How many stars have you seen go out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Count the Stars?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sazzykins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzykins/gifts).



> Yet ANOTHER fic written for the mini fic challenge/prompt thingy on tumblr (see it [here](http://unfortunatelycake.tumblr.com/post/115890192392/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a))
> 
> Alas I don't know the meaning of the word 'mini'.
> 
> Sazzykins is basically going to get a lot of gift fic. Hi Sazz!
> 
> This time her prompt was  
> 6\. things you said under the stars and in the grass  
> Grell/Sebastian

"Get close to that freak and find out what he knows. That's an order." Ciel's eye glowed as he spoke, though he wrinkled his nose. "But spare me the details of your seduction. Report your findings only."

Sebastian bowed. "Yes, my lord."

 

A little over a month since taking the order, and here he was: stretched out on his back in a field, grass tickling his neck. The sky above was clear and bright with stars, the night warm and windless.

"Hmm... How many stars have you seen go out?" Grell's voice cut through the silence. Sebastian rolled onto his side to look at the red-haired shinigami beside him. Grell could speak softly when he wanted to, and his voice wasn't nearly so annoying when he did. "Spoken like a true shinigami," Sebastian smiled. "Always thinking of death. Why not count the ones being born?"

Grell's gaze flickered from Sebastian to the stars. "The dying stars are easier to see."

"Really? I see them all equally well." Sebastian toyed with Grell's customised glasses chain, knowing his gloved fingers were tantalisingly close to the other's cheek.

"Your eyes see everything, don't they," Grell replied. "But you didn't answer my question, Sebby."

Sebastian smiled, hand resting upon Grell's cheek. "Why would I count stars when I can look at you?"

 

It had been easy to get close to Grell. For sake of appearance, they fought at every meeting, Grell with his scissor-shaped scythes (once again, his custom deathscythe had been confiscated) and Sebastian with the Phantomhive family silverware. Shinigami and demons had to fight.

But that didn't mean they couldn't go for dinner, which was exactly how Sebastian had brought about their truce. Neither actually ate anything - the meal in the candlelit restaurant was all about seduction, not food - and afterwards their fights became half-hearted and short-lived. Sometimes, if nobody was around to see, they didn't even bother.

 

"You're making me blush," Grell uttered coyly. And he was blushing, right from his collar to his hairline, because Sebastian was so close, closer than they'd been at any time other than when they fought.

"Is that bad? It's very becoming on you," Sebastian answered smoothly. He traced the contours of Grell's cheek with his fingertips.

"Oh, Sebby..." Grell sighed, gazing up at him with intense longing.

 

At first, Grell didn't know what to do now that Sebastian had shown an interest in him. On the one hand, Sebastian was a demon, the enemy. On the other hand, he was handsome, dashing, courageous and powerful, witty and cunning. Everything Grell liked in a man. Flirting and fighting had been one thing, but when all that was put aside, Grell didn't know how to behave.

After a couple of dinners that weren't eaten, Grell discovered a remarkable skill known as conversation. Sebastian regaled him with stories of his past, and though Grell ought to have disapproved of humans killed and souls devoured, Sebastian made it sound like they all deserved it. Oh, how weak his morals were in Sebastian's presence!

With Sebastian's encouragement, Grell had, in turn, shared some stories of his own past, from when he was training to become a shinigami. Sebastian took some of the tales with surprise. It was hard to think of Grell as being competent in his studies. Other stories left Sebastian almost crying with laughter. Those were the stories that really hadn't surprised him, but were genuinely amusing. As they talked, Sebastian discovered that Grell could be rather entertaining when he wanted to.

 

Sebastian slid his hand into Grell's hair, stroking it gently, catching little strands of it and twisting them around his fingers. He watched Grell watch him, saw Grell's lips, slightly parted in anticipation, saw Grell's eyes, bright with excitement. Sebastian could hear Grell's heart racing, and his own sank.

Sebastian removed his hand carefully. "Grell, these past six weeks..."

Grell smiled, and despite the sharp teeth, it was beautiful. Grell called himself a maiden often enough, but any maiden would be covetous of the look on Grell's face at that moment. "It has been wonderful, Sebby. Getting to know each other, spending time together..."

"You're not nearly so annoying when you calm down," Sebastian uttered, a playful gleam in his eyes.

Grell laughed softly. "You're not nearly as evil as I thought demons were," he retorted.

Sebastian felt Grell's hand seek out his, and held it tightly, their fingers intertwined. "You bring out the good in me, Grell. It has been wonderful, hasn't it."

 

It had only taken a week for Sebastian to discover that Grell knew nothing of the matters Queen Victoria had asked Ciel to investigate. Still, Ciel had insisted Sebastian continue courting the shinigami. Grell's status and knowledge could come in useful later in the case. Sebastian had been a little begrudging in obeying at first, but gradually his annoyance gave way to the realisation that he actually enjoyed spending time with Grell.

That was also the moment that Sebastian realised he might be in a spot of bother. Demons and shinigami were enemies, after all.

 

Grell tilted his head, a questioning look appearing in his eyes. "You say that as though it's the end," he said, clearly confused, and very disappointed. Sebastian had treated him like an innocent virgin all this time--they'd not even kissed! If Sebastian wanted to end it now, that wasn't fair!

But Sebastian shook his head. "If Ciel finds out about this..."

Grell huffed. "You have to take his orders. I know."

"I am bound to do so," Sebastian nodded. "I am not free to act otherwise. But when I am with you, I can do whatever I want. I treasure these moments."

"Mm, you can do anything you like with me," Grell smiled flirtatiously. "Except eat my soul. Will would come after you for that."

Sebastian smiled faintly. "We each have our keepers..."

 

Truth was, Ciel had told Sebastian to give up on Grell two weeks ago. The case was solved, and Ciel had become annoyed by Sebastian's comings and goings for the sake of courting a shinigami they no longer had use for.

But Sebastian hadn't been able to. Hadn't wanted to. So he'd restricted his movements to the times Ciel slept. If anything happened when Sebastian was away, he would know--and he could be there in an instant. Ciel was none the wiser.

 

"Would that _I_ were your keeper," Grell stretched on the grass.

Sebastian smiled at him. "What would you have me do?"

"Kiss me."

A pain struck at Sebastian's chest and his eyes widened slightly. Was this guilt? He looked at Grell, finding the other's expression hopeful.

"Grell..." Sebastian sighed and sat up. "There's something you should know."

"What, Sebby?" Grell sat up beside him, the stars long forgotten.

There was no easy way to confess. Whatever he said, Grell would hurt.

"Six weeks ago, Ciel ordered me to seduce you in order to extract information."

The change in Grell's expression made Sebastian's insides feel very, very wrong.

"You have been using me," Grell stated, voice trembling. Sebastian thought Grell was about to cry, but then the shinigami's fist came flying towards his face.

Sebastian caught Grell's wrist before he could do any damage. Grell struggled, eyes flashing with anger and hurt, and Sebastian pinned him to the ground.

"Let go..." Grell said quietly. On any other night, Grell might have had the strength to push him away, but he was too upset. His chest hurt as though it had been sliced open, and his heart cried, injured.

"Yes, I used you," Sebastian admitted. Grell struggled, and he pushed him down more firmly, holding Grell's hips with his knees. " _Listen_ , Grell. After one week, I knew you knew nothing. Ciel wanted me to continue, in case you proved useful, so I did. But he told me to stop two weeks ago."

"Stop?" Grell laughed emptily, feeling betrayed and foolish. He should have known better than to get close to a demon. "Why didn't you? Why lead me on like this and tell me the truth? Couldn't you have just stopped coming?" Grell started to cry now.

The discomfort in Sebastian's chest grew worse. "I didn't want to," he said quietly. Since Grell wasn't fighting against him anymore, he took out a handkerchief and tried to wipe the tears from Grell's cheeks. But Grell pushed his hand away.

"Did you enjoy lying to me?" Grell lay there miserably.

"I enjoyed spending time with you. I feel guilty for how this began, but I don't regret how close we have become. I have feelings for you, Grell."

Grell sat up and abruptly shoved Sebastian off. "You talk about feelings? You're a demon! You don't have the ability to have feelings!"

"I've eaten enough souls to have learnt how to feel," Sebastian replied quietly. His chest actually hurt now. Sebastian had no idea that this would be painful for himself, too. "Believe me, I care about you."

"I'll never believe a demon again!" Grell leapt to his feet, deathscythe in his hands. They looked like safety scissors and Grell was crying, but for the first time, Sebastian felt intimidated.

Grell lunged at him; Sebastian side-stepped, and parried the next blow with a monogrammed fork. They battled furiously, carving up great scars upon the once-perfect grass they had laid upon, so evenly matched it was impossible to tell who would be the victor.

"Grell, please!" Sebastian called out. He didn't want to fight Grell, didn't want to hurt him anymore. Perhaps that was how Grell managed to get the upper hand. Sebastian found himself pinned to the ground, disarmed, the deadly points of Grell's scythe only millimetres from his face.

Grell panted, face red and streaked with tears. "Never come near me again," he uttered shakily. Then Grell sprang away, abandoning Sebastian, abandoning the field, blood rushing, mind reeling, wounded heart trembling. He ran and ran, never wanting to stop.

Sebastian sat up and watched Grell's form get further and further away. It was too late to call out to him, impossible to make Grell believe him. Sebastian's chest felt heavy.

As Grell disappeared from view, a star on the horizon flickered out.


End file.
